Category: Our Insights

These past few weeks, I’ve found myself at a number of community meetings.  I’ve listened to a few mayors try to connect with the people and offer reassurance they are doing good things.  I’ve listened to city planners, county executives, and parks officials try to explain both processes and visions.  I’ve listened to homeowner associations, law enforcement, educators, and passionate neighbors talk about the best ways to keep their kids and their communities safe.  And, I’ve listened to the people at each and every one of these meetings too.

Despite the new plans, future goals, and impressive growth… after hearing from nearly every area of Snohomish County, I was both a little pleased and saddened at each stop.  Why?  Because so many people have turned into Space Aliens.  Let me explain.

You know how in the movies, there is the space ship full of aliens who manages to land in the middle of a large crowd?  After the initial frenzy, the audience gathers around as the king alien appears and basically says “let’s all work together, but with my rules”.

Then the humans say “Hey wait, you just landed here.  How can you tell us what to do?”  And chaos ensues.

Whether we are talking about leaders of countries, municipalities, organizations, or households, it’s been pretty perplexing lately.  Even downright confusing and troublesome at times.  In my opinion, they should all go sit in timeout.

At each meeting, all I heard was “I’m afraid.  Don’t ask me questions.  Do it my way.”  Whether it was the heads of households, or the heads of state, they both had their fair share of stage time in the complaints and frustrations category… yet didn’t get many points in the understanding and solutions section of the test.

With all of this “what’s in it for me?” crud, where did the problem solvers go?  You know, the people who had to think through an issue and look at the facts and options in order to find a solution.  A solution that worked for many, not for one.  And a solution that included a bigger picture, not just now.  I’m sorry, but you can’t ask Siri or Alexa for a quick answer here.  That algorithm is flawed.

After listening (truly listening) to all sides of each situation, I kept hearing the same thing over and over.  People wanted to protect their values.

The thing about values, is that it starts with expectations.  “Values” on their own, just aren’t a thing.  Expectations are.  (You can read that again if you need.)  I don’t know how you can walk into a conversation with someone and then dictate a solution, unless you understand where they are coming from first, what their expectations are, and then address it directly.  That’s negotiation 101.

I don’t care if you are red, blue, green, purple, or rainbows with your expectations.  The next time you walk into a setting with other human beings, put a little more focus on the “being”.  Drop your iPhone.  Look someone in the eye.  And, have a real honest conversation.

That’s what we do.  We are amazing at helping people sort out their real estate questions.  And, we’ve done it hundreds of times.  It requires a lot of thought and exploration in order to find a solution together that makes sense.  Different people have different needs.

We don’t take our role lightly, and you shouldn’t either.  In order to “add value”, it means we need to ask questions and understand your expectations before we can develop a solution that matters.  It’s not hard, but it requires discussion.  After all, I can’t just tell you where to live or invest, but I can help you find something that makes sense for your family.

To add value to your future, that the others have forgotten how to do, give us a call at (206) 466-4020 or info@HudsonCREG.com.  Thanks for reading.  Remember, don’t be a Space Alien.  We sure aren’t.

Cheers!

Jen Hudson

Recently, I was talking with a friend.  I thought it was going to be a quick conversation.  The water cooler kind.  I thought we might touch the surface of the problem, but then brush it off and move to the next task at hand.  I was wrong.

Instead, it turned into a moment of full disclosure.  The raw, heartfelt kind.  As I listened to my friend go on about their issue, I felt like I was on the other side of a glass wall just watching the events unfold.  It was heartbreaking, but not because of the story being told.  It was heartbreaking because of the way they were telling it.  My friend was clearly listening to their monkey and was fully absorbed by it.

You know about your Monkey, right?  Your monkey is the little voice that comes out when things get tough.  It sits there on your shoulder and starts whispering in your ear.  Your monkey doesn’t whisper “sweet nothings”.  No, your Monkey feeds you lines of garbage.  Things like “You were a fool to do that.”  “What are you thinking?”  “You’ll never be able to succeed.”  “People will laugh at you.”  The feelings that follow your Monkey’s sermon are really where you’ll start to spiral.  Your Monkey brings insecurity, doubt, self-hate, depression.  I know I’ve fallen victim to my Monkey.  I know that you have too.  We all must battle our little bastard Monkeys on occasion so that our Angels can sing.

After listening to my friend tell their story, dancing on a ledge between tears of grief, full blown anger, and denial, all I could say was “bull*%!$”.

Now, I didn’t mean for it to come out so abruptly.  I meant it with my most honest intentions.  In the blink of an eye, my Better Angel threw the entire conversation off balance.  Looking back, it was probably the best thing that could have happened.  The last thing my friend needed was coddling or someone to make them feel better.  What my friend needed in that moment was someone to wake them up to the reality they couldn’t see.

I have known my friend for many years and have seen their better side.  The side that is strong, smart, fearless, loving, and knows how to be a leader.  But their little bastard Monkey was clouding their vision, and had been for a while.

My Better Angel knew that.  Without thinking, my Angel put it all out on the table.  It was a confident gesture of love and understanding.  It wasn’t arrogant.  And I wasn’t agreeing with all the bad things going on.  While those terrible thoughts might have felt real to my friend, they needed someone to wake them up from the daze.  A simple hand up to get back on the right path.  My Angel knew that instinctively, and immediately you could see the change start to happen.

We can all get trapped by our Monkeys.  Maybe it’s uncertainty as the world moves faster, frustration with a loved one, lacking confidence in a job, depression from your own struggles, fear of losing someone, or anxiety of not being good enough.  I have been there.  And, so have you.

If you’re at a point in your life where you aren’t sure which direction to go, try to figure out which voice is your Monkey and which is your Angel.  When it is uncertainty about whether you should buy or sell, or take over the world, or run and hide… maybe we can help.  Our business is selling real estate, but it’s really about making sure your future is in order.  Sometimes, you just need help tuning out the noise.

If you’re having trouble putting a muzzle on your little bastard Monkey, then give us a call.  The market is what the market is.  Buying.  Selling.  Investing.  Stop just reading headlines and stumbling around in the dark.  It’s always a good time when you know what to look for.  Knowing the real facts and helping people make informed decisions is something we have been doing for our clients for the last 15 years.  We can help you too.

Today, you should plan for tomorrow.  Call us at (206) 466-4020 or info@hudsoncreg.com.

Cheers!

Jen Hudson

P.S.  This post is inspired by one of my favorite real estate instructors, Joe Still, CCIM. 

P.P.S.  I really do like Monkeys, but the furry kinds not the ones noted here.